Get ready ladies, because im about to upload my data onto your harddrive. Clean jokes computer jokes enter your email address below for jokes by email once a week. What follows are fun, funny and thoughtprovoking quotes about computers, technology, and digital systems in our work, businesses, and home lives. Here are some of the funniest, geekiest tech and computer jokes we could find. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer. Real software engineers like writing their own compilers, preferably in prolog.
Suddenly, as they crest a hill, the brakes on the car go out and they fly careening down the mountain. A software verifier read in the bible find more jokes in. They screamed down the mountain, gaining speed, and finally managed to grind to a halt, more by luck than anything else, just inches from a thousandfoot drop to jagged rocks. Fun tech quotes about computer glitches and it failures. Im headed to a computer competition and want some good material. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The programmer leans over to the software engineer and asks if he would like to play a game. Basic professional ethics would instead require him to write a destroycity procedure, to which baghdad could be given as a parameter. Real software engineers regret the existence of cobol, fortran and basic. They should know that engineer cannot be judged by his grades or the views his hod have for him.
If it werent for c, wed all be programming in basi and obol. The most compelling reason for most people to buy a computer for the home will be to link it to a nationwide. We cant make your kids eat their vegetables, but our food jokes for kids will help bring some laughs to the. Recently i was looking for some good programming quotes for one of my presentation. This is in contrast to physical hardware, from which the system is built and actually performs the work. The software engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. Software engineer, a hardware engineer and a branch manager were on their way to a meeting. An application was for employment a program was a tv show a cursor used profanity a keyboard was a piano. Speaking at the recent unixworld software development forum, thompson revealed the. Wife or girlfriend a physicist, a mathematician and a computer programmer discuss what is better.
The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions. A computer scientist is someone who fixes things that arent broken. In an announcement that has stunned the computer industry, ken thompson, dennis ritchie and brian kernighan admitted that the unix operating system and c programming language created by them is an elaborate april fools prank kept alive for over 30 years. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. Apr 30, 2019 after all, its better to laugh about technology than to throw your computeror anything elseoff a cyber cliff.
Theyre tools of communication, theyre tools of creativity, and they can be shaped by their user. Linux is for those who want to know why their computer works. Computer puns from pun of the days collection of over 5000 great puns and jokes. These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages. Apr 01, 2015 a computer engineer, a systems analyst, and a programmer were driving down a mountain when the brakes gave out. Windows is for those who dont want to know why their computer doesnt work. As a programmer, you get to operate in your own secret universe every single day, because you speak a special programming language or two that only fellow coders will recognise so, youll probably come to appreciate these 10 jokes only programmers will find funny. Computer jokes, humor, and cartoons about technology, software, microsoft, hardware, y2k problems, the internet and more. Fast guide to it humor computer glossary, computer terms. Computer related jokes in best jokes humor archives. A programmer walks to the butcher shop and buys a kilo of meat. There are many qualities that an engineer posses, but might not found in hi. Computer jokes enter your email address below for jokes by email once a week. My 25 favorite programming quotes that are funny too.
Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud. If you laugh at these jokes, then you are most definitely a computer geek. Computer software includes computer programs, libraries and related nonexecutable data, such as online documentation or digital media. The height of a flagpole a group of managers were given the assignment of measuring the height of a flagpole. Computer crack funnier than many human jokes new scientist. Whats the difference between a blonde and a computer. Devtopics is a highlevel and sometimes satirical look at software development and computer technology.
I have met many people who underestimate an engineer. Here are 25 of the funny programming quotes in random order. See more ideas about jokes, tech humor and computer humor. Please make all my users satisfied with my software and let them ask for. We have a great collection with the best software jokes at. A manager, a mechanical engineer, and software analyst are driving back from convention through the mountains. Computer sms, hindi sms jokes, shayari, new computer sms. Software engineering humor uni department of computer. Your security software is so old there was a celebrity endorsement from the backstreet boys on the box. What are some really funny jokes on software engineers. Computer pick up lines adult jokes, dirty jokes, funny. It was an apple with limited memory, just one byte. That would seem to suggest to us that most presentations are not very successful, and could be vastly improved by the leavening agent of humor.
A computer engineer, a systems analyst, and a programmer were driving down a mountain when the brakes gave out. The only thing more dangerous than a hardware guy with a code patch is a programmer with a soldering iron. Real software engineers work from 9 to 5, because that is the way the job is described in the formal spec. You wont need blue light glasses for these computer jokes and it jokes. In case you needed to assess your geekiness even more thoroughly, see if you like these awesome license plates for computer geeks. You only have to put information into a computer once. In this website, you can discover why we are interested in studying computers and jokes, see what the software can do and how jokes are built, and explore the related science. Computerjokes too stupid blonde in your office again computermale or female. Virus jokes list with funny virus puns and pick up lines including hilarious short joke one liners like i like my women how i like my computer. Food jokes these funny food and vegetable jokes will fill you up with laughter. I was amazed to find that there are some good programming quotes that are really funny and need some brains to figure out the fun part.
What are some good jokes about software engineering. Huge thank you to jelena, who illustrated these it jokes, we had fun. The mexican and white guy are showing off their new tech gadgets. A sql statement walks into a bar asks 2 tables if he can join them. After all, its better to laugh about technology than to throw your computeror anything elseoff a cyber cliff.
Software engineering humor uni department of computer science. I think its fair to say that personal computers have become the most empowering tool weve ever created. Suddenly a microsoft software engineer passed by and said. Dos is for those who want to know why their computer doesnt work. A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a. In computer science and software engineering, computer software is all information processed by computer systems, programs and data. Reboot your joke collection with these funny computer jokes, wifi puns and tech jokes that dont require a restart. There are two kinds of sysadminsthose who back up and say ups before a power supply outage, and those who do it after. Software engineers take a lot of time gaining skills and learning things that they. Find information technology it, computer and internet humor for your next presentation. It should be noted that no ethicallytrained software engineer would ever consent to write a destroybaghdad procedure. Speaking at the recent unixworld software development forum, thompson revealed the following.
In computer, software goes into the hardware but in sex, hardware goes into the software. A family lives in a large tower appartment building 10 floors high every day their son takes the elevator from the familys apartment on the 10th floor to the ground floor and goes to school when he returns in the afternoon he uses the elevator to get to th riddles computer science riddl riddles dog park riddles four girls in a room claire is playing chess maria is. The joking computer can build millions of new jokes such as. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it. An experiment to uncover the worlds funniest jokes has found that some computergenerated gags can. Computer sms, hindi sms jokes, shayari, latest computer sms messages 2018, funny jokes, new wishes and status, best computer sms, top computer sms, hope you like our computer sms collection. Dedicated to humor and jokes relating to programmers and programming.
Here is the list of the rest of our computer jokes, puns, and riddles for children and kids. Software testing jokes software testing fundamentals. The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are. Also, check out our computer and other funny jokes categories. What do you get when you cross a frog with a street. Your security software slows your computer down so much that the only game you can play during a scan is frogger. After scraping against numerous guardrails, they come to a stop in the ditch.
Here are the best computer puns from all over the internet. What a developers relationship with management is sometimes like. What are the most popular computer programming jokes. Working late would feel like using an undocumented external procedure. What do you call the security outside of a samsung store. According to andrew carnegie, there s little success where there s little laughter. Computer nerd jokes that are sure to make you laugh. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Devtopics is written by tim toady, the founder of browserling inc, a crossbrowser testing company. Then the mexican guy says, check out my new cellphone. The geekiest tech jokes on the internet techrepublic. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiotproof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots.
If we are missing any, or you have a good it joke you want to share, write in the comments. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do. Computer software, or simply software, is a collection of data or computer instructions that tell the computer how to work. My 25 favorite programming quotes that are funny too journaldev. Computer jokes, computer science, funny animal facts, programming humor. Your security software is so difficult to use youre considering taking it to counseling. A family lives in a large tower appartment building 10 floors high every day their son takes the elevator from the familys apartment on the 10th floor to the ground floor and goes to school when he returns in the afternoon he uses the elevator to get to th riddles computer science riddl riddles dog park riddles four girls in a room claire is playing chess maria is watching tv anna is sleeping. Computer hardware and software require each other and neither can be.
Reboot your joke collection with these funny computer jokes, wifi puns and tech jokes. Funny technology jokes and puns will make you laugh. Computer jokes, internet jokes, software humor, and cartoons. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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